Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I was wondering if you might be able to help answer a couple questions I have about my cat, Isabella. She was a recuse. She’s approximately 7-8 years old, domestic short hair and spayed. For the last 3-4 years she has developed an issue with her anal glands. She is a larger cat and does have problems properly cleaning herself but even with a restricted diet she still seems to be gaining weight. The only place she will allow you to pet is her head/face. Her entire body is so sensitive now (assuming it’s due to the pain of the anal glands). Her back and by her tail are so sensitive that if you go to pet her or if she rubs against something she quickly turns and goes to attack. I don’t know what else we can do for her. Please help!
My family and I have 3 cats. Timmy [9/M], Ozzie [3/M] and Athrun [2/M]
9 years ago we got Timmy for my little brother. He was my little brothers kitten, however I always took care of him. Ever since we got Timmy, I paid his vet bills, I took him to the vet to get deflead and dewormed, I cleaned up after him when he threw up, urinated where he wasn’t supposed to, or had poop stuck in his fur. I played with him all the time while my brother didnt even act like he existed half the time. Timmy slept with me every night, and he mostly only slept on my bed. He was always in my room. He would come when I called him, he’d snuggle into my hair and sleep with me. I would wakeup with him laying on top of me, smothering me of course because hes a huge cat, and he would even talk to me and he would talk back if I spoke to him first. He was technically my cat.
I moved out 2 years ago with a friend and I wanted to take Timmy with me but my parents said absolutely not, he is my brothers cat not mine. So eventually I gave up fighting with them and I went and got myself a kitten, named Athrun.
While I lived with my friend, Athrun would always great me at the door, he would sleep with me at night, curl up in my lap and sleep when I played videogames, he would give me kisses, meow at me as if he were saying “Sup?”, and we were very close. I paid to get him fixed, I paid for his flea and worm medication, I paid for his vet bills, I paid for everything. He had a nasty eye infection when I got him because the people who I got him from didnt take care of him and I’m the one who cleaned his eyes several times a day and made sure he had everything he needed. 6 months into living with my friend things went sour, , and I was going back to school so I decided to move back with my parents and of course I took Athrun with me.
All those things he did with the me when I lived with my friend he started doing to my family as well. He stopped sleeping with anyone, and either slept on the back of the couch or on our dressers or beside our bed on a stand or shelf. He would greet everyone at the door, say “Sup?”, give us kisses, he was basically the family cat in a way. He also became bffs with my brothers other cat Ozzie, they’d play together constantly and sleep together, and we used to joke around saying that they were in love with one another. They’d spend their days together spooning one another in a cat bed or on the back of the couch, and their nights terrorizing the house together. They were pretty much attached at the hip. If one was in the bathroom, the other one wasn’t far behind him.
At the same time, Timmy started peeing all over the house more than usual. Hes always peed outside the litterbox, but only when we neglect to scoop it for a long time and it gets very dirty OR when we leave a towel laying around. For some reason he loves towels and rugs as well. He ended up with a UTI the other month, his first one as we got him checked regularly because of his peeing and he never had one up until then. We gave him antibiotics and the UTI cleared within a week, but he still pees on my parents couch and on their rugs. He DOES also use the litterbox. He uses both, the litterbox and the house.
I moved to the city two weeks ago for school and I told my parents well in advance I was taking Athrun with me when I moved, because he is my cat, I have been paying for everything of his since the day I got him, and therefore he is coming with me. They told me it would be cruel to tear apart Ozzie and Athrun and that I should take Timmy instead, because hes closer to me than he is to anyone else and he doesnt like any of other cats. Hes kind of a loner. I didnt listen to them and took Athrun instead.
Athrun has been here with me for a week. He seems okay, he eats and drinks water, he uses the litterbox and plays with his toys, however hes been crying alot. When I’m in bed at night sometimes hiim crying in the livingroom wakes me up. When I leave the house he cries at the door and its very very loud, I live in the top floor and I could hear him in the laundry room which is located in the basement. I find that if I’m out of sight he starts meowing but as soon as I come in the room he stops and come over to me. My mom said that Ozzie has been very antisocial since I left. He eats, and uses the litterbox, as well but he keeps meowing at them and he wont let them pet him or pick him up and all he does is sleep and he is basically a loner now. I called my mom the other day and she put me on speaker phone and I was talking to Timmy and she said he kept staring at the phone, and I will admit I kind of miss him.
My parents house is large with tons of windows within the cats reach so they can sit in the window and chill all day, and the doors are glass so they can lay in the sun. Theres 3 people living there so its quite lively. Here, its just me in a small one bedroom apartment that is literally just a livingroom with a super tiny kitchen, my room and a bathroom. There is no glass in my door, and my windows are all too high for Athrun to get in so I have to hold him in front of the window for him to be able to look out. At my parents house he was able to go out on the step and lay in the sun or explore and here I can’t take him outside because its mostly pavement and its a city, I live right in between two of the busiest streets here and I’m worried he’ll get smushed. Also, when I leave for work or go out with my boyfriend, he’s entirely alone here and I feel so bad leaving him. I stopped going for walks and I try to make my trips out as short as possible so he isn’t left alone for long periods of time but its exhausting, while at my parents house someone was almost always home and if they werent he had Ozzie with him to keep him company.
Everyone I talk to says I should just get another cat and that Athrun will adapt because hes young but I’m not a cat expert, even though I pretend to be, and I’m not sure if that will work, plus my apartment is small and I’m not sure if theres room for two cats even though I’d love to have more than one. They all tell me that it’s only been a week and I should give it more time but the guilt is eating me up. His cries are heartbreaking and I feel like I made a mistake taking him here.
Should I get another cat and hope that Athrun will warm up to this one and stop crying? Or should I send him home to my mother and take Timmy here with me? My mom thinks that Timmy pees everywheres because he does not like the other cats and he thinks he will be happier alone with me in my apartment, because all he does there is eat and sleep on their beds. but I don’t wanna run the risk of having him pee everywhere and I also love Athrun and I wish he’d be happy here but I feel like a terrible person.
Sorry for the wall of text. I felt like some of this was necessary to add. And I just need some advice from someone who knows what they’re talking about I guess, instead of my friends.
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