It sounds like you waited too long to resolve this problem. I would recommend seeing a vet, for two reasons
– they might be able to sedate her so she can be cleaned up and groomed properly
– they might help you determine whether her distaste for grooming stems from pain which can often be the case
If pain is at the root of the problem, it needs to be addressed. If there is nothing medically wrong with her, you need to start training her to accept care right away. Check out Donna Hill’s youtube channel, she’s got some great videos showing how a dog can be condition to accept all sorts of care including teeth brushing, nail clipping … the principle is the same for all such things.
If he actually eats it rather than just shreds it, it could make him sick. I think that’s what killed my childhood guinea pig – he was eating everything in sight. I think I’d switch to some heavy-duty unbreakable glass bowl instead or something that is safe and cannot be eaten.
He/she may be missing some minerals.